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The Guardian

Israeli strike kills paramedic, says Lebanese Red Cross – as it happened Scottish Premiership: Rangers hit Falkirk for six to keep pace with Hearts and Celtic Cameron Young reels in Rory McIlroy with pack on their tails for Masters finale Sensational Scheffler reminds everyone why he is still No 1 with Masters masterclass | Andy Bull The Masters day three: Rory McIlroy level with Cameron Young after losing outright lead – as it happened Golden eagles could be reintroduced to England after more than 150 years Tyson Fury beats Arslanbek Makhmudov by unanimous decision – as it happened Tyson Fury returns with unanimous points win over Makhmudov and wants Joshua next The xx at Coachella review – indie trio reunites for spellbinding, rangy set Brian Cox: ‘We don’t know how powerful AI is going to become – it’s both exciting and potentially a problem’ Real talk: Chelsea punished Enzo Fernández for exposing project’s fatal flaw | Jonathan Wilson Leinster blow away Sale to set up Champions Cup semi-final with Toulon Liverpool 2-0 Fulham: Premier League – as it happened Rio Ngumoha sparks Liverpool win over wasteful Fulham with first Anfield goal French man charged with keeping nine-year-old son locked in van since 2024 Mullins makes fiendish Grand National puzzle look simple with third win in a row | Sean Ingle Grand National 2026: I Am Maximus wins big race for second time at Aintree – as it happened Championship roundup: Ipswich tighten grip on second but Coventry made to wait More than 500 people arrested at Palestine Action protest in London Dewsbury-Hall strikes late for Everton to deny Brentford after Igor Thiago double Mats Wieffer doubles up as Brighton push Burnley closer to the drop Bournemouth expose Schrödinger’s Arsenal, a team that could be either dead or alive | Paul MacInnes Kimberly’s story: the tragedy that changed British legal history UK forced to shelve Chagos Islands legislation after US dropped support ‘A big punch in the face’: Mikel Arteta apologises after defeat by Bournemouth I Am Maximus joins Grand National greats by regaining crown to emulate Red Rum Suspect in New York subway machete attack shot and killed by police ‘We feel this incredible tension at all times’: what happened to small-town USA when extremists moved in Trump reportedly says he’ll issue mass pardons at end of his presidential term Arsenal 1-2 Bournemouth: Premier League – as it happened Sabrina Carpenter at Coachella review – madcap maximalism from pop savant Woman, 19, dies after being attacked by dog at property in Essex US man in Bahamian jail after wife disappears into Atlantic waters during boat trip Eamonn Holmes recovering in hospital after a stroke Alex Scott and Bournemouth deal blow to nervy Arsenal’s title hopes Matildas next generation take charge in Fifa Series rout over Malawi Tories would reinstate two-child benefit cap to fund defence, says Badenoch ‘Casual without being sloppy’: why flannel shirts are making a comeback What on Earth is Melania Trump thinking? | Arwa Mahdawi ‘He cares about Hungarians’: the small Ukrainian town divided over Orbán ‘The party was chilled until police sent in the riot squad’: when a Dorset free rave turned violent Jubilant return of Artemis II shadowed by ‘extinction-level’ cuts to Nasa: ‘It’s discordant’ New York Times investigates reporter Dianna Russini’s Vrabel coverage amid photo uproar ‘It has your name on it, but I don’t think it’s you’: how AI is impersonating musicians on Spotify Workers at LA stadium threaten World Cup strike amid anger over ICE Man charged over deaths of four people trying to cross Channel ‘Endless war’: inside an Israeli kibbutz near Lebanon’s volatile border For Trump and Hegseth, the Iran war is a game | Judith Levine Native Americans were gambling with dice 6,000 years earlier than anyone else, study says A ‘weird dream’ of an arts festival began 10 years ago in the California desert – can it survive its growing popularity?
家道疏离,较之常人所想,实为多见,然研究所示,其于身心之效,则纷纭不一。
Gaynor Parki · 2026-05-24 · via The Guardian

D虽间有媒体称颂显宦家族之疏离,然于众文化中,疏离实为耻,直逆深植之价值观,关乎家族之本质。

与家族疏离者,常感羞耻,自认其败,怀忧默于私室。然研究于疏离,示其远甚寻常。甚于众人之所思.

Dillip*不欲与兄言,盖因家聚之际,其父母自印度来,然兄醉求钱于父母,且大呼相争,Dillip犹怀愤懑。彼不欲人调解,然其妻与兄之妻强之。

Marina* 意欲绝交于父,因年岁久远,言辞不谐,久不相见。“吾实不欲与之往来。彼惟有所求,方相接,吾已疲矣。”

Todd* 不得已而决,断绝与幼女之往来,盖屡助其戒除毒瘾而无效也。其女年岁既久,频求钱物,公然窃取,又屡遭警局传唤,令其领女归。然其多方劝导,皆如石沉大海,徒劳无功。Todd* 愁苦日深,终至不堪,遂决意曰:“吾今不复见之,不与之语,若其再陷困厄,亦不复应之。吾当自护身心,以全其安。”

疏离之境

此境所显,疏离非二分也;实乃渐减接观数之境也。一端,人恒感窘迫,会晤时默然相对,未言而默契,心怀愧疚,欲求解脱,如玛琳娜所盼。复前行,则迪利普之怒与断绝往来,或存和解之机。又有托德:全然断绝——决意使裂痕固化,无意挽回。或有人永绝号码,或迁居他城,乃至异国,以远其距。此连续体之每一步,皆映照失人之际心理关系之变——自怒与矛盾,至失与哀,绝望与往往之决意。

疏离之途

克里斯蒂娜·沙尔普述二途:“暴卒”(狄利普)与“消逝”(托德与玛琳娜),并指出即便暴卒之例,亦常有前因。所谓“压垮骆驼的最后一根稻草”,非为病因,实为凝结一切似难解之事之时刻。狄利普向父母索财于家族之前,即此类时刻:非仅当时之愦,实为某种模式之代表。研究表明,最常见之疏离缘由,乃虐待与忽视,物质滥用,重大价值观差异,及殊异离析,遂为亲子疏离之重患。

疏离果为正道乎?

当是时,疏离之感或似涤荡之清,然未必恒如是,纵其势所必至(如遭虐害者然)。考诸疏离之效于身心康泰,其说纷纭,非无因也。盖疏离之由甚矣,断绝虐亲之缘,身心或得安泰;由价值相悖而致者,其果则多歧而难定。

且当知疏离亦能易吾自观。于 Marina 而言,不与父相接,即为一变——“吾素为贤女,无论何事皆赴,今则不然。”

和解之道何在?

和好修复或可为之,亦或所求。然有时,如马里娜与托德,疏离似为唯一之选。此际,吾辈之助,当助人哀戚应对,以适其宜。学者示人,予人助益,温煦,认可,安泰或为疏离之缘中缺之之味,或可稍得慰藉。

对托德而言,和好之问已了,非因怨怼,实因历尽艰辛而得明悟,知持续往来于其身心之害。今他正陷于心理学家所谓之歧路失——既哀生者之存,复无正果之缘。此失无慰藉之仪,无吊问之函。乃知助团体可减其耻辱与忧苦。,助其验其损。于托德,得此助其决,或为良疗之选。

虽犹愤懑,迪利普稍纳修好之议,恃妻及嫂之助以成之。马丽娜之境,介乎其间;犹绝其父,且慎其志之易。

三例所共者,乃家之可败也——及其知之,则纷乱孤寂,决其当为之事。

*凡此所述,皆已允其事之传。名讳与部分情状,为避私隐而更之。