2024 may very well be the turning point of my life. This year, I made many groundbreaking choices, and the experiences and emotions they brought deserve to be recorded. These reflections will serve as the foundation for every step I take in 2025.

Embracing the Courage to Change

“Courage” is the first word that encapsulates my reflections on the past year. I used to cling to my routines—eating the same vegetable buns for breakfast for months on end without a second thought. Over time, I realized this comfort zone, while seemingly respectful of my habits, was in fact a form of avoidance—a reluctance to embrace new experiences.

In 2024, I made it my principle to try new things and fully embrace the present, regardless of the outcome. This shift was largely driven by a deeper understanding of life and its brevity. First, I came to truly appreciate how short life is. Second, I began to question the traditional Chinese ethos of “racing against time,” a mindset ingrained in us through education. Yes, time is precious, but why must we constantly rush forward? Why not pause, savor the stillness, and relish the fleeting beauty of the moment?

Life is indeed short, but how often do people of our generation genuinely take the time to pause and feel? From a young age, we are taught to compete, to avoid “falling behind.” We tirelessly chase perfection in the eyes of others, only to realize we’ve missed the unique sensations and phases of our own lives.

Finding Myself Amid Anxiety and Uncertainty

“Anxiety” is another defining word for this year. Over a decade of working life may have taught me to appear composed, but when faced with decisions, I am often overwhelmed by waves of anxiety. At times, this emotion felt suffocating; at others, it became a driving force propelling me forward.

This year, I found myself more sensitive than ever before, particularly when confronted with uncertainty. That sensitivity sometimes left me feeling fragile, even to the point of emotional breakdown. For example, there were moments when I wanted to smash something in frustration, only to laugh at the absurdity of it all once I calmed down—literally laughing while crouched on the floor.

At one point, I felt completely lost in my anxiety. Mornings would pass without any sense of purpose, and sleepless nights became the norm. Over time, however, I began to understand my emotions better and gradually nudged myself forward. Often, our goals remain intact, but uncertainty clouds the path to achieving them. Recognizing this, I tried to adapt to the uncertainty and let clearer steps guide me through.

Take, for example, our plan to move abroad. I broke down the challenges into manageable tasks, from “handling property in Hangzhou” to “learning local customs for greetings” and even researching “important local holidays.” By turning overwhelming problems into smaller, actionable items, I made progress step by step.

As I worked through this checklist, things became much clearer. While the anxiety hasn’t completely disappeared, I’ve gained far greater confidence in handling whatever comes next.

Not Rushing to Find Answers

Before leaving Hangzhou, I had a long conversation with my younger brother. He was feeling lost about his career, having switched jobs nearly four times in two years, each vastly different from the last. He hoped that changing jobs might solve his problems, but I could sense he didn’t really know what he wanted.

The thing is, I wasn’t in a position to tell him, “You haven’t thought this through.” In fact, I wouldn’t allow myself, as his brother, to impose such a viewpoint. Deep down, I believe there’s nothing inherently wrong with frequent job changes—trying new things isn’t about right or wrong. Young people should break the rules and pursue their inner voice. If you don’t know what you want right now, why rush to find the answer?

Our generation’s greatest advantage lies in having the time and space to experiment, to explore, and even to fail. This process is what brings us closer to our true selves.

Not knowing what you want isn’t a bad thing—it’s an open state that allows you to embrace uncertainty. Instead of fixating on the “right answer,” why not accept the unknown and the detours along the way? Every choice, even a wrong one, is a step toward accumulating experience for the future. Rather than leading a “safe” life by the book, let curiosity be your guide.

In many ways, my conversation with my brother mirrored my own inner reflections. To feel, to explore, and to discover a new version of myself—this is what 2024 has been all about.