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从「禁摩限电」说起
2016-04-11 · via jdhao's digital space

我还没骑过电动车,也想过以后要骑电动车。据说,很多电动车车主经常横冲直撞,完全不遵守交通规则,造成了大量严重的交通事故,每年因为电动车死了不少人,这些说法把我吓住了。前些时候有人建议对电动车加以限制,我很赞成。说实在的,哪能容许这些电动车如此随意地开来开去。但假如我对这件事还有点了解,我要说:除了一刀切禁掉,没有什么限制的方法。那东西开起来太快,太邪门了。现代社会技术发达,电动车也越造速度越快,想要管理不出事故太难了,不如禁止方便。假如我骑电动车上班,或者我是送外卖的,没有电动车会有些困难。但我何必为那些人操心?在大街上,大量的电动车在行驶。但是我,一个搞研究的,不使用它们完全可以。所以,把电动车禁掉吧,省得我听了心烦。

电动车是方便人近距离行动的省力工具。还有让电动车行走的工具,就是各种路。你想想看,没有马路,有电动车也跑不了。再说,三轮车,平衡车等也可能造成交通事故。必须破坏掉各种马路,禁止通行,这才是治本。这回我可有点舍不得—我想到哪里去玩,有时候也会乘坐公交,而公交要行走在马路上。我从高中开始走马路,我用它去网吧,去市中心玩,去学校上学。

顺便说一句,走马路上学是种幸福,没有马路,走山路去学校是种巨大的痛苦。但是它不学好,居然能走电动车了,这可是它自己作死,别人救不了它。看在十年老交情上,我为它说几句好话:古代的土路是无害的。那种颠簸不平整的土路,没有能力让车走的很快。现代的铺上水泥或者柏油沥青的路才是有罪的:这些马路非常平整,在上面车能开得很快,把它禁了吧……但现在走古代的土路,不一定能办到。为此,可以要求政府聘请专家,仔细研究古代典籍,制造古代的土路。政府听了瞪眼,说:你们是不是有毛病?回答应该是:我们没毛病,你才有毛病—但要防止政府把我们的民众代表送进疯人院。当然,如果决定了禁掉一切马路,我也能对付。我可以走小路看电影吃饭,去车站,要上学就走小道去。残疾不能走小道的可以让别人背着你走小道嘛,虽然找到这么一个人比较难,但是–谢天谢地,我现在已经不用上学了。

除了电动车,小汽车也在载人。在这方面,我的态度是坚定的:我赞成严加管理。首先,外国的汽车与中国特色的国情不符,应该通通禁掉。其次,国内的汽车生产厂家良莠不齐,做出的汽车也多有不好的……我是做研究的,与做汽车无缘,只不过想有点创新。吉利,奇瑞,比亚迪,做出的汽车,我也看不入眼,但他们可都发大财了。应该严格审查–话又说回来,把大街上跑的汽车统统检查一遍,不放过任何一辆不大容易,倒不如通通禁掉算了。中国古代几千年历史了,只靠马车、步行、骑马不也活过来了嘛。我可不像年轻人,走几步路就叫嚷着嫌远。我有土路走就行了。说来说去,我把自行车漏掉了。这种乌七八糟的东西,应该首先禁掉。年轻人没有事,可以多走走路,既陶冶了性情,又锻炼了身体……

这样禁来禁去,总有一天禁到我身上。我是搞图像方面的研究的,但让我说我做的东西完全不会造成什么事故或者伤害,我也做不到。再说,到那时我已经吓傻了,哪有精神给自己辩护。电动车,小汽车都能禁,为什么不能禁搞研究?我们爱做研究,还有不识字的人呢,他们准赞成禁止搞研究。好吧,我不搞研究了,到建筑工地搬砖去。我的身体还凑活,能当搬运工。别的人未必搬得动砖头……

我赞成对危害公众安全秩序的东西加以限制,只要限制不到我。但限制来限制去,结果却出乎我的想象。

海明威在《钟为谁鸣》里说过这个意思:所有的人是一个整体,别人的不幸就是你的不幸。所以,不要以为丧钟是为谁而鸣—它就是为你而鸣。但这个想法我觉得陌生,我就盼着别人倒霉。五十多年前,有个德国的新教牧师说:起初,他们抓共产党员,我不说话,因为我不是工会会员;后来,他们抓犹太人,我不说话,因为我是亚利安人;后来他们抓天主教徒,我不说话,因为我是新教徒,……最后他们来抓我,已经没人能为我说话了。众所周知,这里不是纳粹德国,我也不是新教牧师。所以,这些话我也不想记住。