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关于孩子
2016-09-05 · via jdhao's digital space

坐火车回北京,我坐在过道边,过道另一边是一个老人家带着她的孙子,小孩子约一岁,能说模糊不清的字。小孩子一路上都在吵吵闹闹,一刻不停歇,写作此文时候的举动是把前面座位上贴的布给扯掉,扔在地上,他的奶奶似乎无动于衷,也不批评,也不行动,过了一会儿,打扫卫生的人员过来了,把布捡起来,又贴在了原位置。小孩子仍然不满足,继续进行他的游戏,又把布扯掉扔在地上,奶奶似乎也有点不满意了,把布捡起来粘在了原处,然后小孩和他的奶奶重复这个回合若干次,奶奶并未对孩子讲这样做有什么不对,只是寄希望于小孩别再拽掉那块可怜的布了。

仔细观察小孩子的行为,你会发现他们非常懂得察言观色与使用手段,他们会观察大人的行动,以此来决定自己将要采取的行动,当自己的要求得不到满足,就会装哭,或者大叫,希望博取大人的恻隐或者说关爱之心。我记得谁说过,小孩子很小,不懂得道理,对于这种论调,我也不知道说什么好。

我记得在微博上看到一个故事,有一个妈妈带着她的孩子坐火车,结果孩子一直哭闹,怎么也不听劝,妈妈就带着孩子下车了,让他在下面尽情哭闹,什么时候闹够了再坐车,无论孩子孩子怎么闹也不理他,就让他一直在那里哭闹,最后孩子终于停止了哭闹。经过这么一次,孩子以后应该不会再乱闹了,我喜欢这样的父母。每一个熊孩子的背后,必然有他的土壤,不要抱怨你为什么生了一个熊孩子。

提到孩子,我想到了很多,谁又结婚了,谁又有孩子了。在微博上看到一句话,说的是,中国的许多家长都很有自信,认为自己天生就懂得如何去养一个孩子,完全不需要学习。养个动物都得学习呢,这些家长真自信。我自己对于养孩子就完全没有信心,觉得有太多的未知,万一生一个孩子不能提供很好的环境,那不是坑了人家吗?显然很多人跟我的想法不一样,他们的逻辑是,父母生了你,给了你生命,你应该感到幸运,你应该感恩父母给你生命,怎么还能有这么多要求呢?对于这种论调,我也不知道该说什么。

孩子,只愿你在一个正常的家里,有着正常的父母,有着正常的环境,正常的成长,快快长大吧。孩子,愿你成为一个正常的人,这就足够了。