本期摘要：电网向导英文翻译勘误。结尾有总结。
勘误的标准：语法错误，搭配不当，表意不明，中英文内容有出入，typo（拼写错误）偶尔列出但不作为主要内容，并穿插部分可以改进的地方。此外，界面、UI文字建议全部大写。
今天的内容包括游戏内部分向导文字。
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电网的内容很长，截了两张图。我们一点点来看。首先是标题+前两段：
Power Grid Establishment Guide For production facilities to work, they need to connect to the grid, and there must be power generation facilities in the grid to provide electricity. There are power generation facilities, power consumption facilities, power storage facilities, and power transmission facilities in the power grid.
似乎每个向导页面里都有一个“Guide”，但是向导窗口里还能是什么内容呢？后面再遇到类似情况，默认Guide全部需要删掉，不再赘述。第一段话可以好好地简化一下，因为要表达的逻辑很清晰，不需要那么多的they或是there。第二段话则可以把power grid提到前面来说。
修改后的这段话应该是：
Power Grid Production facilities require electricity to function properly and therefore must be in proximity of power generation facilities. A power grid consists of power generation, power consumption, power storage, and power transmission facilities.
继续摘抄：
If the power generation of the power grid is greater than power consumption, the power consumption facilities will run at full load. And the accumulators will store the surplus electricity with a certain power. If the power generation of the power grid is less than power consumption, the accumulators will firstly discharge with a certain power to fill the power gap. If still not to fill the power gap after all accumulators automatically discharging at the max power, the power consumption facilities will slow down work speed due to insufficient power. Once the satisfaction of the power grid is less than 10%, the power grid will trip. At the same time, the production facilities will stop working.
第一段第一句的问题用when能更清楚准确地描述。第二句很奇怪地没有用上面的storage，而是用了accumulator，需要统一一下。
第二段第一句同样可以把if替换成when，并调整一下句子结构。第二句则几乎看不懂在说什么。
第三段似乎借鉴了Factorio之类的游戏，但用词和句子结构依然有很大的提升和简化空间，比如trip作跳闸理解时是名词而非动词。
修改后的这几句话应该是：
Your production facilities will run at full capacity when you generate more power than you consume. Your power storage facilities will store your surplus power within its capacity. When you generate less power than you consume, your power storage facilities will automatically discharge themselves. If there is still a power shortage, your production facilities will automatically scale their capacity according to your current power supply. When your grid satisfaction drops below 10%, a trip will be triggered and all your production tasks will be put on hold.
下面两段摘抄：
In the early stage, you can use Wind turbines to generate electricity. Wind turbines use wind power to generate electricity and do not need to consume fuels. It is a very practical power generation facility for early development. Besides, different planets have different wind energy ratio. Wind turbines come with a power supply area, but this area is very small. If you want to expand the power grid's supply range, you need to use the Tesla tower to transmit and supply power. Different power transmission facilities have different connection lengths and supply areas. You can unlock more advanced power transmission facilities by upgrading Technology.
第一段话的第一句和第三句意思基本是一样的，完全可以整合成一句。第四句开头的besides有些摸不着头脑，更合适的词语应该是Note。
第二段话的英文还是一样的问题，参考结尾总结。此外，个人建议“不同设施覆盖范围不同”这句话可以全部删掉，因为放置输电设施时可以用圆形展示其半径，只要放准位置就行了。
修改后的这两段话应该是：
Wind turbines generate power solely from the wind. They make for great power generation facilities in the early stages. Note that winds blow differently on different planets! Wind turbines can transmit power to a limited radius. Build Tesla towers and other power transmission facilities to extend your turbines' reach. Develop your technology to unlock more advanced power transmission facilities.
最后两段：
Power generation facilities that require fuels will consume fuels based on the actual consumption power. You can view the current power grid information and adjust it at any time based on the consumption demand by clicking the Tesla tower. Can always display the power network when turn on the Power network in the Detail display(H).
第二段话的语法尤其离谱，甚至像是机器翻译的，搭配也无比生硬。这两点都是老问题，不再重复。第二段说到的“点击电线杆随时调整供电”功能并不存在（见下图）。简单摸索之后，猜测这句话的意思应该只是“点击显示信息——玩家根据信息自行调整各设施的供电”，因此需要根据这个意思进行调整。
修改后的这两段话应该是（第二段的lightning symbol建议换成闪电图标）：
Some power generation facilities consume fuel to produce power. They can automatically adjust their fuel consumption based on the demand in your grid. Click on any Tesla tower for detailed information on your power grid and make any adjustments to your liking. You can toggle the grid layout by clicking 'Power' (the lightning symbol) in HUD settings (H).
上图还有一小部分文本，摘抄如下：
Power grid information Network #1 Generation capacity / Consumption demand / Current generation / Accumulator charging / Energy accumulated
这几个短语整体的问题依然是信息冗余。电网下面的capacity就已经是发电量的意思了，不需要再加额外的定语。这些短语也都属于UI，建议全部使用大写字母。
修改后的这部分内容应该是：
GRID INFORMATION NETWORK #1 CAPACITY / DEMAND / OUTPUT / CHARGING: / ENERGY STORED:
最后两张图：
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这两张图是风力发电机和特斯拉塔的简介。详情部分摘抄如下：
The power transmission facility. Can extend the power supply range of the power grid with a certain connection length and supply area. The primary power facility. Can convert wind energy into electrical energy. The actual generation capacity is related to the planet's wind energy ratio.
冠词千万不要乱用。这两段话的The都会被误解成“独一无二”的意思。第一段话同时存在信息冗余的问题，为特斯拉塔选址的时候已经有一个圆形表示塔的传输范围了，一般的玩家也都能意识到传输距离是有限的，不需要在这里再重复说一遍了。第二段的primary则会让人误以为是“主要”的意思，而非本来的“初级”。
修改后的这两段话应该是：
Power transmission facility. Extend your power supply range. Basic power generation facility. Generates power from the wind. Conversion ratio may vary on different planets.
这两张图上还有一些辅助性内容，我们放到下期跟矿场一起讲（因为这些文本的作用有一点迷惑，我还需要再深入了解一下）。不出意外的话，下期应该全部是采矿相关的内容。
新栏目，每期小总结。盘点一下本期文案的主要问题，以及对应的解决办法：
翻译从来都不是机械的词到词转换，一定要抽离出原文的意思，再用符合目标语言规范、习惯的方式表达出来，不然很可能导致文本完全看不懂；
不是每一点内容都需要翻译出来。有的内容是冗余的，比如标题中的Guide，完全可以忽略；
文案是与UX密切相关的，很多文案上的问题完全可以通过UI/UX的精心设计完美解决。比如上期的矿场覆盖问题，比如本期的供电范围问题。
祝大家国庆快乐~下期见！
此内容由惯性聚合(RSS阅读器)自动聚合整理，仅供阅读参考。 原文来自 — 版权归原作者所有。