Everyone likes dark UX patterns – such fun!

Ryanair are Europe’s most profitable airline and they are masters of this noble form.

This is an all time classic from around 8 years ago – to not buy travel insurance, you must select Don’t Insure Me, midway down a list of countries:

I have the joy of doing some budget flying this summer and I thought I’d see how upsell-alicious the check-in process is in Trumpyear 2026:

I count 9 stages a user has to successfully navigate to avoid extra payment:

1. “No, don’t want to be insured”
2. Don’t be tricked into unlocking check-in for your return flight, this costs.
3. Roll the dice by finding and selecting the random seat option.
   Do you feel lucky punk?
4. Confirm you understand the precarious and unsettling nature of random allocation.
   Maybe you want a break from your companions?
5. “Last chance to choose where you sit”
6. Opt for 1 Small Bag only. A scary warning pops up about being charged at the gate.
   To be fair, I did recently see this happen to a couple at the airport. They feebly argued their case – pun intended – but I completely agreed with the airline staff. If the case don’t fit…
7. Don’t click “Upgrade to Priority & 2 Cabin Bags”. This one is particularly sneaky as it doesn’t have a “No” option, you must dismiss the window.
8. Scroll past security fast track and pre-paid credit, which at least just needs a “Continue”.
   The kid sitting next to me on the flight back bought some Versace aftershave and I pretended to care/be impressed because I am a nice person.
9. Don’t rent a car, don’t buy parking, don’t buy a train(?)

Tada – you are checked in.

You get one final ad, I assume, for a Sam Altman fever dream in which humans EULA consent to become foie gras in exchange for tokens:

I will finish with an actually sensible/possibly useful postscript.

Based on a small amount of recent experience, the best strategy for Ryanair is to check in at the last possible moment. If they’ve given away all the bad seats, they’ll be forced to give you a good one, and I got an exit aisle seat, which also gave access to the precious overhead bin.

The best strategy for Lufthansa is to check in as early as possible. They still offer to sell you a “better” seat. But you can immediately see what spot you’re assigned, and they fill up the plane from front to back in a refreshingly old-fashioned manner, so earlier is better.

Hope you enjoyed this, more soon.

Dan