I was one of the first to receive access to a large upcoming ransomware campaign, so I built binaries to be inspected and sent to major labs. Out of probably 20 places to submit samples, I could only send to 1 because every other either blocks Tor or requires some SSO, effectively blocking Tor. To do that, I spent nearly 20 minutes solving Google captchas, which honestly felt like the most humiliating experience of my life.

humiliating enough that I am walking away and maybe not returning. I am cold, tired, and hungry at this very moment, having struggled enough with finding stable employment since COVID this living nightmare just will not stop. I missed the foodbank again this month.

a computer probably wrote this malware, is already taking my jobs, is constantly interfering with my ability to socially participe, prevents me from applying to most jobs, has algorithmically destroyed large family bonds, can't open a bank account, can't get a loan, hard for me to see the point anymore, I am using what little time of my young adult life to maybe feel what it means to be a real human now instead. Probably go be homeless and play music on a corner somewhere.

This morning, for now, I will go walk to my friend's fresh gravesite. Everyone failed her, exploited and caged her entire life. My biggest regrets being one who helped build them.