Differentiable optics, as an emerging paradigm that jointly optimizes optics and (optional) image processing algorithms, has made innovative optical designs possible across a broad range of applications. Many of these systems utilize diffractive optical components (DOEs) for holography, PSF engineering, or wavefront shaping. Existing approaches have, however, mostly remained limited to laboratory prototypes, owing to a large quality gap between simulation and manufactured devices. We aim at lifting the fundamental technical barriers to the practical use of learned diffractive optical systems. To this end, we propose a fabrication-aware design pipeline for diffractive optics fabricated by direct-write grayscale lithography followed by nano-imprinting replication, which is directly suited for inexpensive mass production of large area designs. We propose a super-resolved neural lithography model that can accurately predict the 3D geometry generated by the fabrication process. This model can be seamlessly integrated into existing differentiable optics frameworks, enabling fabrication-aware, end-to-end optimization of computational optical systems. To tackle the computational challenges, we also devise tensor-parallel compute framework centered on distributing large-scale FFT computation across many GPUs. As such, we demonstrate large scale diffractive optics designs up to 32.16 mm $\times$ 21.44 mm, simulated on grids of up to 128,640 by 85,760 feature points. We find adequate agreement between simulation and fabricated prototypes for applications such as holography and PSF engineering. We also achieve high image quality from an imaging system comprised only of a single DOE, with images processed only by a Wiener filter utilizing the simulation PSF. We believe our findings lift the fabrication limitations for real-world applications of diffractive optics and differentiable optical design.