Emotion understanding is a critical yet challenging task. Most existing approaches rely heavily on identity-sensitive information, such as facial expressions and speech, which raises concerns about personal privacy. To address this, we introduce the De-identity Multimodal Emotion Recognition and Reasoning (DEEMO), a novel task designed to enable emotion understanding using de-identified video and audio inputs. The DEEMO dataset consists of two subsets: DEEMO-NFBL, which includes rich annotations of Non-Facial Body Language (NFBL), and DEEMO-MER, an instruction dataset for Multimodal Emotion Recognition and Reasoning using identity-free cues. This design supports emotion understanding without compromising identity privacy. In addition, we propose DEEMO-LLaMA, a Multimodal Large Language Model (MLLM) that integrates de-identified audio, video, and textual information to enhance both emotion recognition and reasoning. Extensive experiments show that DEEMO-LLaMA achieves state-of-the-art performance on both tasks, outperforming existing MLLMs by a significant margin, achieving 74.49% accuracy and 74.45% F1-score in de-identity emotion recognition, and 6.20 clue overlap and 7.66 label overlap in de-identity emotion reasoning. Our work contributes to ethical AI by advancing privacy-preserving emotion understanding and promoting responsible affective computing.