The tension between data privacy and model utility has become the defining bottleneck for the practical deployment of large language models (LLMs) trained on sensitive corpora including healthcare. Differentially private stochastic gradient descent (DP-SGD) guarantees formal privacy, yet it does so at a pronounced cost: gradients are forcibly clipped and perturbed with noise, degrading sample efficiency and final accuracy. Numerous variants have been proposed to soften this trade-off, but they all share a handicap: their control knobs are hard-coded, global, and oblivious to the evolving optimization landscape. Consequently, practitioners are forced either to over-spend privacy budget in pursuit of utility, or to accept mediocre models in order to stay within privacy constraints. We present RLDP, the first framework to cast DP optimization itself as a closed-loop control problem amenable to modern deep reinforcement learning (RL). RLDP continuously senses rich statistics of the learning dynamics and acts by selecting fine-grained per parameter gradient-clipping thresholds as well as the magnitude of injected Gaussian noise. A soft actor-critic (SAC) hyper-policy is trained online during language model fine-tuning; it learns, from scratch, how to allocate the privacy budget where it matters and when it matters. Across more than 1,600 ablation experiments on GPT2-small, Llama-1B, Llama-3B, and Mistral-7B, RLDP delivers perplexity reductions of 1.3-30.5% (mean 5.4%) and an average 5.6% downstream utility gain. RLDP reaches each baseline's final utility after only 13-43% of the gradient-update budget (mean speed-up 71%), all while honoring the same ($ε$, $δ$)-DP contract and exhibiting equal or lower susceptibility to membership-inference and canary-extraction attacks.