Depending on who you ask, the last people you'd want to stand next to at your neighborhood bar are the man who started the Iran war and the man who helped end abortion (their words, not ours). That's the premise of SNL's latest Cold Open, where Colin Jost's Pete Hegseth sulks into a barstool lamenting that nobody left in the Trump Administration can keep up with him drink-for-drink. That is, until Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh comes stumbling in, played by this weekend's host Matt Damon.

The two spend much of the sketch bonding over everything they've managed to accomplish — or inflict, depending on your perspective — since taking office. Hegseth is beside himself at the prospect of the Iran conflict actually ending and leaving him without a reason to exist, while Kavanaugh is in full waterworks mode over the "male loneliness epidemic." Rough night for powerful men.

Things do take a turn for the chaotic, however, when Aziz Ansari returns as FBI Director Kash Patel, instantly shifting the energy from sad-drunk to dangerous-drunk. Before long, the trio is floating the idea of a Trump third term.