Dr. Matthew Leahy, a licensed psychologist, treats adolescents who've developed such an intense relationship with an artificial intelligence chatbot that they stop confiding in their parents.

Sometimes, their parents are shocked to discover a chatbot has won over their child so dramatically. In other cases, the parents seek out Leahy at the Momentous Institute, a Dallas mental health services provider, precisely because they know the extent of their child's chatbot relationship and want his help regaining their child's confidence.

Intense chatbot relationships can have disastrous mental health consequences for adolescents who become isolated, develop a romantic relationship with the chatbot, or routinely consult a chatbot instead of a human for anything. Last fall, child experts declared AI chatbots unsafe for teen mental health.

"When you're talking to a computer as opposed to even your peer, but especially your parents, that's when it starts to get really messy, really quickly," Leahy says.

The effects can be short-lived if parents spot chatbot dependency and work on it with their child, Leahy says. The goal? Rebuilding the rapport that convinces a child their parent is willing to guide them through anything.

Just how much are teens talking to chatbots?

Leahy's anecdotal observations about childhood and adolescent chatbot relationships might seem like outliers. Reddit posts authored by concerned parents who've experienced something similar, however, suggest the phenomenon isn't unique to Leahy's office.

Recent survey data from Girl Scouts of the USA (GSUSA) also illustrate a broader gravitation toward AI assistants and chatbots, at least among girls.

Nearly half of the 1,000 girls ages 5 to 13 surveyed believe AI is superior to their parents for homework help. Admittedly, some parents might be relieved to let AI handle that work, but they might be unnerved to learn that a full 50 percent of respondents preferred it for music, TV show, and movie recommendations.

The start of chatbot intimacy

If tutoring and entertainment suggestions lay the groundwork for a child-chatbot relationship, then asking more sensitive questions is likely to deepen it. Half of 11 to 13-year-old girls surveyed said they'd asked AI for help when they felt sad, anxious, or lonely.

The survey, which polled girls and their guardians, also indicates that parents significantly underestimate how frequently their child talks to a chatbot. Half of girls said they used AI once a day, but only a third of parents believed their child used it that often.

Sarah Keating, vice president of Girl and Volunteer Experience at the GSUSA, told Mashable that the survey data demonstrates that girls turn to AI chatbots and advice apps when dealing with topics that are uncomfortable to discuss with their parents or trying to understand questions they don't think their parents can answer.

"What that says to me is that it's all about opening up lines of communication again," said Sarah Keating, vice president of Girl Experience at the GSUSA.

Get your child to start opening up to you instead of a chatbot

When he's working with parents, Leahy maps out a strategy to help them do exactly that.

But first, he must persuade parents skeptical that there's even a problem with their child's relationship to a chatbot. The parents may think it's entertaining or educational, not dangerous in any way.

To reframe their thinking, Leahy closes his laptop, points to it, and says, "That's your child's best friend right now." Leahy says he watches the parent's face change in real time as they register the alarm.

The importance of one-on-one time

Leahy's approach to helping parents re-establish a relationship with their child varies depending on the context.

Some parents, he says, are starting from scratch. Others once had close ties to their child that weakened with adolescence and chatbot use.

Either way, it's crucial that parents intentionally set aside one-on-one time with their child. One father he works with plays catch with his son. Another parent has a standing boba date with their child.

Leahy says parents shouldn't start out by asking their child deep questions. The point of these experiences is to build rapport, which is why parents must stay present rather than distracted by their phone. The groundwork laid in those moments, over weeks or months, eventually gives way to conversations about their life.

Be curious instead of offering advice or judgment

This is where things get tricky, Leahy says. Once adolescents open up, they might share something that makes their parent feel uncomfortable. A chatbot, by contrast, is unlikely to have the same reaction.

"Especially if you're not used to these conversations, it's going to raise emotion in you," he says. "You might be disappointed in what you hear. You might get angry pretty quick about what you hear, and that's where the test is."

To pass this test, Leahy recommends listening with curiosity and not offering advice. While that skill takes time and effort to hone, Leahy says the payoff is invaluable because it demonstrates trustworthiness.

That doesn't mean parents silence concerns about safety or behavior. Instead, Leahy suggests coming back to those issues and asking the child to collaboratively discuss them.

Don't expect them to immediately abandon their chatbot

In Leahy's experience, it takes time for teens to reset their chatbot use. In the beginning, they might still talk to it "feverishly," but Leahy generally recommends gradual scaling back. Parents can consider limiting the time the child is on their device.

Leahy isn't necessarily worried about teens who spend a half hour talking to a chatbot then return to their regular activities. That might be the sweet spot of engagement, he notes.

Importantly, parents should ensure their child has in-person activities like sports or social engagements so a chatbot can't so easily command all of their attention. Those experiences can also help build their confidence in ways that a chatbot cannot.

It's normal for teens to not tell their parents everything

Dr. Dana Suskind, a pediatric physician and child development expert who studies how language and human connection shape the developing brain, says teens typically seek counsel from sources who aren't their parents, like peers, trusted adults, and the internet.

The challenge with chatbots, she explains, is that they're very effective at building intimacy and attachment, which can displace human relationships.

Suskind encourages parents to reflect on AI technology, particularly with their child, and consider questions such as what the product was designed to do, whether it interacts with them and their child, and how so.

"It is the slippery slope issue, because these technologies...engage the social aspect of us," says Suskind, author of the forthcoming book Human Raised: Nurturing Connection, Curiosity, and Lifelong Learning in the Age of AI.

Red flags to watch for

Leahy says parents should be concerned and consider consulting a mental health professional in the following circumstances:

• A child under 12 years old using a chatbot for personal conversations.

• When chatbot use takes up a lot of time and displaces other healthy activities, including socializing, exercise, and sleep.

• Constant consultation of a chatbot, including for basic decision-making.

• When a child personifies a chatbot so that it seems like a real person to them, or they believe they're talking to a sentient being.

• Regular sexual role-play with a chatbot.

• Developmental conditions, such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder or autism spectrum disorder, that may put the child at risk for dependency.

Leahy is optimistic that parents can restore their relationship as their child's guide with the right investment of time and energy.

"A restored relationship looks like parents feeling they have their child back, and children feeling their parents have their back," Leahy says.