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British Science Association

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Is the British Science Festival heading for Scarfolk?
Author: Anonymised User · 2015-04-01 · via British Science Association

The British Science Association (BSA) today (1 April 2015) announced the dates and location for the British Science Festival 2016... The four-day event, one of Europe’s leading and longest- established science festivals, will take place in Scarfolk, from 5 – 8 September 2016.

Imran Khan, chief executive of the British Science Association, said: “We are delighted to be taking the Festival back to Scarfolk in 2016, forty years after our last visit – it seems like it was just yesterday.

“Scarfolk is the perfect setting for cutting-edge scientific discourse, particularly because of its history of peer-reviewed occult trials (and harsh punishment of those who opposed them - the origin of the term ‘double-blind’ studies). We are looking forward to covering the big topics, such as how we can easily solve the population problem and the food crisis in one fell swoop, to mediocre topics, such as why the universe has become so fat.

"There’ll be lively panel discussions on issues such as the global warming hoax, the dangers posed by vaccines and the controversial new scientific ideology of evolution by natural selection. There’ll also be screenings of documentaries like One Million Years BC as well as ethical debates that tackle upcoming reality-TV versions of Invasion of the Bodysnatchers and The Wicker Man.”

The Mayor of Scarfolk, said: "We are thrilled that the British Science Festival is returning to Scarfolk. Our town has a long tradition of scientific endeavour and has become renowned the world over for proudly flouting research ethics in the name of progress. Scarfolk council was the first in the UK to fluoridate and electrify the water supply and Scarfolk University has produced many academic luminaries, such as the distinguished Food-Sentiency professor, Dr. Terence Hushson. In 1970, he perfected the first biological kitchenware augmentation for unacademic children destined to work in the service industries, which earned him a nomination for the Nobel Prize in catering."

The British Science Festival hosted by Scarfolk Council will take place between Monday 5 and Thursday 8 September 2016, and will feature a primitive programme of talks and debates addressing issues obsolete since the 1970s.

For more information, please reread this press release.

A Scarfolk tour guide called ‘Discovering Scarfolk’, published by Ebury Press, is also available for those who wish to familiarise themselves with the town in advance.

Ends/.. 

Notes to Editors: this is an April Fool's day story. Decision on the 2016 British Festival location - following our open call earlier this year - is yet to be announced. A spokesperson from the BSA refused to confirm or deny whether Scarfolk is in the running.