We’ve all been in a situation where we’re listening to a presentation or in a class where someone is sharing knowledge. The presenter or expert finishes a point and stops to take a breath or move on to the next point when you hear a voice.

“What they meant to say was…”

You can already picture the person doing it. I don’t need to describe the kind of person that does this. We all know who it is and, if you’re like me, it drives you crazy. I know it because I’ve found myself being that person several times and it’s something I’m working hard to fix.

Info to Share

People that want to chime in feel like they have important things to share. Maybe they know something deeper about the subject. Perhaps they’ve worked on a technology and have additional information to add to the discussion. They mean well. They’re eager to add to the discussion. They mean well. Most of the time.

What about the other times? Maybe it’s someone that thinks they’re smarter than the presenter. I know I’ve had to deal with that plenty of times. It could be an executive that needs to clarify the message or add in the important talking points that marketing has decided on so that everything sounds right.

In the latter cases, the reason why someone needs to jump in and answer the question is less egalitarian. They’re not trying to raise the body of knowledge or educate the people in the room for a noble reason. They’re looking to be the center of attention. They want to take all the agency of the presenter and show how smart they are or make sure everyone knows how important they are.

I’ve been at the point where I’ve almost asked out loud, “If you’re paying this person to talk why do you feel the need to talk over them?” For a CEO of a company that should be the end of the discussion. For the smart person in the audience they’ll probably have a more pointed response. The result is hopefully the same. Why are you the one talking when everyone came to hear the person you interrupted?

Ask Your Own Questions

I’ve struggled with this myself many times. I’ve wanted to add to the conversation. I’ve felt like if I could just clarify this point things would be way more clear. While I may feel like my info is the most important to impart what I’m trading away by doing that is robbing the person presenting of all their agency.

It really hit me last year when I was a Wood Badge course director. I was intimately familiar with the curriculum and knew every lesson we were trying to impart to the participants. We had also chosen our staff members to present on specific lessons. Each of them had time to prep and understand the material and knew what they were supposed to accomplish. Someone without awareness might have thought they knew the material better than anyone.

I found myself wanting to add to the conversation after every presentation but I also knew it was my place to watch and make notes, not jump in. How would it look to the participants if I kept interrupting the presenter to add my points? They would have stopped listening to the real presenter and just waited for me to speak. That’s not the preferred outcome for someone to present material.

The other thing you have to ask yourself in that situation is “what does this do to the presenter”? How would you feel if someone kept interrupting you if you tried to make a point or teach a lesson? I’m all for deferring to people with more knowledge or experience but if someone is constantly interrupting me for pointless reasons or to restate something I’ve said I would be furious. I’d never want that person to be in the same room as me when I’m trying to present. Minimizing your presenters is a great way to ensure they never want to work for you again.

To me, the best way to support your presenter and the lesson they are teaching is to stay quiet. If you feel like you need to add something wait until the very end so they don’t feel like you’re stepping on them. Even if they say something incorrect and you feel the need to call it out, do it quietly with the presenter instead of making a scene. If the presenter corrects themselves it looks way better than having someone else do it. And above all, remember that everyone’s skills and viewpoints are valid and you aren’t an authority. You’re a voice in the conversation.

Tom’s Take

I really love sharing info and answering questions. I like teaching. But I have learned over the years that there is a time and place for things. And if I’m not the one that is designated to be teaching or talking I really need to keep things to myself. Stealing someone’s agency makes me look bad and makes the presenter look weak. I would rather help where I can and build up a future rock star presenter than steal their thunder and make them look silly. I still have moment where I need to work on it but I hope that I’m better than I have been in years past.