When Shane Long first became a father he was playing international and premiership football but that didn’t mean the stresses and strains of being a new dad didn’t affect him.

‘It was tough - I was 23 and my wife was 21 so we were quite young,’ he says. Living away from home and playing with Reading meant the young couple had little family support too where they were.

‘Not having that support around was a bit too much strain,’ he says of the difficulty wife Kayleah felt when she was managing a new baby. ‘You need another pair of hands when you’re that young and you don’t know what’s going on and you need a bit of support and I was just on the bus off to play football.

‘At the time I suppose I didn’t overthink it but looking back you can’t get those moments back, you can’t get the first 48 hours back.

‘Even later on in my career Teigan’s birthday is in March and every March is international duty, so I missed the first ten birthdays of her life. At the time, again, I was obviously delighted to be playing for my country but I can’t get those moments back either.’

The one thing Long didn’t have to worry about at that time was money but he knows the importance of paternity leave for men and how important it is for new fathers to spend time with their newborns which is why he is speaking today.

He’s an ambassador for a new report by the Movember charity which has revealed some shocking statistics about fathers in Ireland.

Our allocation of two weeks paternity leave is the minimum possible under EU law and lags well behind many other countries in the rest of Europe.

The Extra Time with Dad report, launched to mark Men’s Health week and in advance of Father’s Day on Sunday, examines the overall picture of paid support leave for new dads in Ireland while exploring barriers to paternity leave take-up.

The report found that six in ten (67 per cent) of new fathers experience financial strain while on paternity leave while two in 10 (16 per cent) were able to depend solely on the state payment.

It found that one in five dads in Ireland took no paternity leave whatsoever. And Long is keen that other new fathers get to spend the time they need with their partners and new babies.

‘My children are older now - 16, 12 and nine - but from my personal experience I remember my eldest was born at 5:59am and I left to go to training at 9am for an away game, and then I didn’t see the first 48 hours of her life.

Though his job wasn’t a nine to five it did mean a lot of time spent away from home and his wife and kids.

‘You have to live to a schedule,’ he says. ‘It’s obviously a great privilege to have been able to play a game that I love as a job so you are never going to complain about it.

‘But it was hard to make plans to spend that quality time with your wife and your kids because you just don’t know where you’re going to be or what’s going to be happening until a week in advance so that was a tough side of football.’

Kayleagh, Shane’s wife, worked in a nursery before they had their first child and her experience was invaluable to the young footballer.

‘My wife is fairly switched on,’ he says. ‘ She knew how to look after children - I was very raw. She had to train me up a bit, but she taught me the way to do things, and it is one of these things you kind of learn on the job, don’t you?’

Which is why he feels it is all the more important to support new fathers at the start of their journey.

The Movember Extra Time report found that 85 per cent of new fathers said parental leave benefitted their partner’s recovery. The survey also found that it reduced stress and helped them bond with their child.

Shane is supporting Movember’s call to the Government to improve the standard of paternity leave in Ireland. The charity is calling for the Government to establish a Paternity Leave Working Group to examine key barriers and opportunities including length of paternity leave, payment rate and workplace culture. Currently Ireland is in the bottom five when it comes to paternity support and current paternity benefit of €299 per week found that 68 per cent of new fathers said they were dependent either entirely on employer supports, or on employer top-ups to make paternity leave a viable option.

Half of those who took paternity leave said they were unable to take a longer time as it would have put their career progression at risk.

‘The Extra Time with Dad report highlights the real barriers dads in Ireland face in taking paternity leave,’ says Sarah Ouellette, of Movember. ‘At a transformative time in their lives, many are forced to make difficult choices, missing vital bonding time with their child and partner. The findings show this is not just about entitlement, but public health.

‘Dads who take paternity leave report better mental health, stronger bonds with their child, and greater ability to support their partner. When fathers are supported, families benefit. Ten years on, Ireland still lags behind Europe. We are calling on Government to act, beginning with the establishment of Paternity Leave Working Group bringing together key stakeholders to address this whole-of-society issue.’

However, 90 per cent of those surveyed said fatherhood has given their life greater meaning, and 86 per cent value their role as a father more than success in their career.

‘You grow up instantly,’ says Shane of fatherhood. ‘You kind of have to. It’s that feeling that this whole life is dependent on you and all of a sudden you are living your life for someone else. You’re trying to do the best you can for them. You can’t really describe the love you have towards your own child until they arrive and then you get what everyone’s talking about.

‘So becoming a father just made me mature as a person and settled me down, I suppose. And that probably benefited my career as well, because I was at home every night then looking after the kids and being with my wife rather than getting lost in the town somewhere.’

Shane, from Gortnahoe in Tipperary, met his wife Kayleah when they were both teenagers. He was a footballer playing for Reading where Kayleah is from.

And having children was the natural next step, he says.

‘I met the woman I love, and it’s the natural next step, having kids,’ he says. ‘It’s weird because back then before Teigan was born I couldn’t imagine a life with kids, now I can’t imagine life without them.’

Teigan is now 16, Erin is 12 and Jax is nine - and is already following in his dad’s footsteps onto the football pitch.

And all Shane wants for his children is for them to be happy.

‘I just want them to do whatever makes them happy and support them, rather than telling them what to do with their lives,’ he says. ‘I just want to be there when they need me rather than telling them what to do or how to live and hopefully have a few answers if the questions come my way. I think happiness is all you can ask for.’

Questions, though, are also the thing Long finds most difficult about fatherhood.

‘The hardest thing is not always having the answer. And teenage girls as well, dealing with all the opinions,’ he says, laughing.

‘As a parent you have to set an example, don’t you? The kids look at you as setting an example, so you’ve got to be on your best behaviour at all times because you don’t want them picking up bad habits off you. You want to be someone your kids are proud of.’

Shane has no issue with Jax wanting to follow in his father’s footsteps.

‘He’s in Reading Academy at the moment - he’s a decent little footballer and he has pace as well but it was his decision, nothing was forced onto him. At the age of seven he just all of a sudden got absolutely obsessed by football.

‘I remember I took him out in the garden trying to tell him what to do and he said, “Dad, what do you know about football? It’s not what the coach says,” but he’s beginning to listen to me now,’ Shane says, laughing. ‘He’s beginning to understand that I had a bit of a career in the game and I kind of know what I’m talking about. But it’s important to let him find his own way and put no pressure on him.’

And Shane isn’t worried about the pressure of the game on his young son.

‘For me it was an honour and a pleasure playing football, doing something you love as a career,’ he says. ‘Not many people can say they do that. If Jax loves football and that’s what he wants to do then I am going to support him to do that.

‘The girls are more interested in dancing, singing and acting - being on stage.

‘They are both sporty as well but prefer drama and dance so I don’t know what route they’re going to go down.’

For those about to embark on the journey of fatherhood, Long has some solid advice.

‘Just try and take it all in your stride,’ he says.

‘Be as prepared as you can be, but don’t be afraid to ask questions to friends or to your own dad. But take comfort in the fact that a lot of men have been there before, they didn’t have all the answers either, you’ve just got to back yourself and ask the questions. You will figure all this out when you go along and enjoy the moments you get to spend with your children because you’ll get to an age like I am now where you can’t get those years back.’

Long is very keen on getting more paternity leave for men now.

‘Seeing some of the statistics and having the time at two weeks is not enough in my opinion,’ he says. ‘There are countries like Spain with six weeks of paid paternity leave that are compulsory and I think that takes all the pressure off the families and the employers when it’s compulsory like that. To have six weeks to bond with your child is something you can’t replace.’

Long retired from football in 2024 and currently lives in Virginia Waters, not far from Heathrow Airport.

And for his own life, there’s a new chapter starting.

‘I’m still trying to find what I want to do as a full time thing,’ says the 39-year-old who did try his hand at a bit of punditry.

‘I’m enjoying being a dad. I’m enjoying being around for the kids, for the school runs and being there before and after school. I’m enjoying being there for their matches or whatever’s going on and spending time with the kids.

‘At the weekends I am always there now and it’s a different life. It’s nice having that time to spend with them but I do need to start looking into what I want to do next.

‘I’m enjoying it - the kids found it weird for a while as well because now I am always around. They can’t get rid of me, but I’m loving it at the moment.’

The big question is, though, who is Shane Long supporting in the World Cup?

‘It’s a tough one to call,’ he says. ‘Obviously I’m living over in England. I just worry about the heat over there for the English players. I’m not a betting man, but if I was, I think I’d back Brazil. I’d like to see them win. It’s been 24 years since they’ve won a World Cup, and I grew up with Brazil being the superpowers and there is the irresistible football they play, so I’d like the younger generation to see that again.’

See movember.com