The first debate of the Holyrood election campaign put the six party leaders in a room in Paisley. For some unfathomable reason, it then added a studio audience and some TV cameras instead of, say, a pride of lions on the 5:2 diet.

‘With just 25 days to go,’ the BBC’s Stephen Jardine began, ‘it’s your chance to decide who should run Scotland’. 

Our options were apparently limited to the line-up around him. There was John Swinney, sharp as a No. 2 pencil and just as exciting. Anas Sarwar, who— interrupted him— at every— other— word—.

Along a bit was Russell Findlay, the only man who can look menacing while promising you a tax cut. 

A couple of podiums down, where Willie Rennie used to be, there was Alex Deserves-Better, having earned his double-barrelled surname by following his opponents’ answers with a dolorous sigh of ‘We deserve better than this’. (We certainly do.)

Rounding it all out was Malcolm Offord, the most low-key populist you’ll ever encounter. He spoke in a morose whisper while casting his eyes downward. I’ve seen more upbeat hostage videos.

Finally, there was Ross Greer, the only one who hadn’t bothered to wear a tie.

In the studio audience, who were presumably being punished for something, a very nice lady confessed she might not vote and asked the party leaders to convince her otherwise.

Swinney told her the SNP would ‘always be on Scotland’s side’, which makes you wonder what they’d be like if we crossed them. The snappiest answer came from Anas Sarwar: ‘The SNP have had their chance. They’ve had 20 years. Give me five.’

Jardine described Offord as ‘the new kid on the black’, and if you thought that was an unfortunate slip of the tongue, it was nothing on the Reform Scotland leader’s admission that about one-third of people he’d encountered on the doorstep were planning on not voting. Maybe it’s the way he tells them.

Audience sympathies shifted as the programme progressed, with Swinney racking up a few applauses on Labour’s broken energy promises and Greer getting a hearty clap for pledging to nationalise the whole sector.

Sarwar’s constant interruptions finally paid off when, midway through another Swinney stream of self-exculpation, he barked at the first minister to ‘take some responsibility’, which found favour with the crowd. The Labour leader was the golden boy once again when he got tore into the SNP over the ferries fiasco.

There was a good bit of stall setting-out, since this was the first time most voters will have been encountering these fellows.

Findlay was firmly a man of the right, even repeating the Iron Lady’s dictum about there being ‘no such thing as public money, only taxpayers’ money’. Greer lurched in the opposite direction, denouncing Thatcherite policy in the energy markets.

Truth be told, the once nimble-footed Swinney looked tired compared to the Green leader, who seized on Wes Streeting’s dismissal of calls for another independence referendum to accuse the Westminster government of ‘democracy denial’.

A bold accusation from someone whose entire platform is ramming fringe legislation through parliament against overwhelming voter opposition, but he was definitely the more energetic of the nationalist axis.

Independence dominated the second half of the programme to an extent that should disabuse anyone of the notion that the question is dead and buried. 

For or against, the audience kept chiming in with their views on the constitutional debate. Sarwar made a decent fist of arguing that this election was about ‘the here and now’ and Findlay revived the Ruth Davidson era talking point about ‘getting on with the day job’.

It was a very shouty affair but Jardine got them all back on friendly terms by making the final question about how to celebrate a Scotland victory in the world cup. I believe that’s going to happen more than I believed any of the chancers on that stage last night.