Not so long ago, I was away with a group of women. Some old friends, some new. The wine was flowing, the conversation was juicy… and then one of the mums reached into her handbag and pulled out a small packet of pills.
Without missing a beat, she put one on the table, gently used a wine glass to crush it into a fine powder, lined it up with her credit card, and snorted it.
'What the hell is that?' I asked.
'My son's Ritalin,' she laughed, before offering me a line.
I declined. As someone with ADHD, I know Ritalin well. What I didn't know was that it had quietly become the suburban middle-class mum's latest substitute for cocaine.
The price of cocaine may be at an all-time high amid the cost-of-living crunch, but the demand for a quick chemical high remains as insatiable as ever.
That night, more guests joined in, and the mood changed instantly. Suddenly the room was charged, manic and just a little unhinged.
For those of us who actually take those pills to function, it was a lot to take in.
Jana Hocking reveals that the 'cocaine mums' are finally quitting their expensive habit – but their supposedly 'safer' alternative may not be as risk-free as they think
But it's not just the rising cost of cocaine that's pushing respectable mothers towards their kids' (much cheaper) ADHD meds. It's fear.
When I shared what I'd noticed with a friend, she didn't even bat an eyelid. She said prescription drugs were everywhere at a recent festival she'd attended.
And it's not because cocaine has vanished – there is still plenty of it around.
No, there's something much more unsettling driving this trend.
The risk of death.
You might think I'm being dramatic, but in many parts of the world, cocaine use has become far more dangerous in recent years.
In the US, the drug is often contaminated by powerful synthetic opioids like fentanyl, making raiding the medicine cabinet for an alternative stimulant seem like a safer option.
Australians often assume their drug supply is 'cleaner', but a growing number of troubling cases suggest that belief may be misplaced.
Health authorities have issued warnings after a high number of overdoses involving cocaine suspected to have been laced with opioids.
Police are also raising the alarm about new synthetic opioids, some even stronger than fentanyl, which have been found mixed into party drugs such as cocaine and MDMA.
In other words, what once felt like a 'safe enough' weekend indulgence is starting to look a lot more like Russian roulette.
Enter prescription stimulants. I mean, they're technically legal if you have a prescription (which the drug mums usually don't). But even if you aren't taking them for their intended medical purpose, there is still comfort in knowing that they're from a reputable drug company and you can trust what's in them.
Of course, anyone who's been at a party where Ritalin, Vyvanse (the ADHD medication lisdexamfetamine) or 'dexies' are being passed around will know that they aren't just there to raise spirits.
These drugs are also being abused 'off label' to assist weight loss.
Yep. Turns out ADHD meds can be cheaper than Mounjaro and Wegovy, and in some circles, they can be surprisingly easy to get your hands on.
One friend confessed she had started taking her son's ADHD medication after seeing how much weight he lost when he first started on it.
But before you all start raiding your neurodivergent friends' bathroom cabinets looking for a dose, let's just pause for a second.
Taking a drug that isn't prescribed for you, especially one you've sourced through a friend of a friend, then crushed up and snorted (PS: do I really need to tell you NOT to snort pills?) comes with its own set of risks.
And they're not exactly minor.
Medications like methylphenidate – the generic name for Ritalin – are intended to be taken at specific doses, under medical supervision.
When used incorrectly, they can spike your heart rate, raise blood pressure and trigger anxiety, agitation and a full-blown panic attack.
Anyone who's ever downed a double-shot espresso after a month off caffeine will only slightly understand the effect these meds can have on your body.
And even then, it's not a great comparison. The side-effects make coffee-induced heart flutters look… cute.
Jana has noticed that crushing and snorting prescription ADHD medication is the new drug obsession of the 'wines and lines' crowd. But it can backfire - badly (posed by model)
Ritalin is prescribed to treat ADHD. Now middle-class mums are using it for a different purpose
I spoke to a woman who took ADHD meds at a party, believing she'd opted for the safer choice over cocaine.
Instead, within an hour, her heart was pounding so fiercely she feared she was having a heart attack. She spent the night curled up on a bathroom floor, shaking, convinced she needed an ambulance.
She told me she was awake for a full 24 hours.
It was hardly the chic, controlled high she'd been promised.
There's also the small issue of where these pills are coming from. Because, unless you've personally watched someone pick them up from a pharmacy, you're relying on blind trust.
Counterfeit 'study drugs' are becoming more common globally. And what's inside them isn't always what's printed on the label.
In other words, the illusion of control might be exactly that.
So before you start crushing pills and snorting them up on a Friday night because it's 'safer' than getting a bag, ask yourself this: is a full day of being wired, anxious and fearing for your life really worth the brief buzz?
It sounds like a nightmare to me.