Oh yes, we’ve all been there. Drinking too much on a spring evening as the Bank Holiday approaches.

Having another. Having a heated debate about politics with our pals. Having one too many. Then stomping off into the night in a wine-tinged huff, shouting ‘I’m a socialist!’ while crashing into a door on the way out. A door that later had to be removed and repaired.

But do you know what? We were probably teenagers at the time. Barely out of student politics or nappies. CND badges on our lapels, fire in our bellies, a pint of snakebite on the go. We were not, repeat, not right honourable members of Parliament having a subsidised drink or three in the Palace of Westminster at taxpayers’ expense.

What can one say about 46-year-old Angela Rayner’s antics in the Strangers’ Bar at the House of Commons earlier this week? ‘I am a socialist! Hic!’

It is the kind of behaviour you might associate with Wolfie in a particularly dramatic episode of Citizen Smith. Or Kevinette the Teenager after being radicalised by Rick from The Young Ones. Not from someone currently plotting to be the next prime minister – and such is the desperation and paucity of talent on the Labour front benches she might well succeed in her quest.

This would be laughable – hilarious! – were it not so utterly terrifying. If this is what Angela is like now, what will she be like in a position of real power?

Of course, when reports of Rayner’s behaviour surfaced, the usual suspects rushed forward to say it was nothing short of a character assassination. It was misogyny. It was an attack on her working-class roots. It was another case of her actions being scrutinised differently because of her background. It was anything but the bald truth.

And while there were plenty of witnesses who saw what happened, a spokesman for Ms Rayner said: ‘This is a concoction of mischief-making. Angela had a glass of wine in Strangers’ Bar with her friends, and the notion she broke a door is total rubbish.’

Yet no denial of the row or the drunken shouting and an observer claiming that she was ‘trollied’.

But never mind all that. What I really want to know is precisely what made Red Ange declaim her personal socialism in such a vibrant and public manner. What could someone have said to elicit such a furious response?

My top three contenders are: 1. ‘But Ange, you own an £800,000 coastal property in Brighton’. 2. ‘But Ange, you’ve been accused of dodging tax on that property’. 3 ‘But Ange, you wear £200 shoes.’

Whatever happens, Rayner will wriggle off the hook like she always does. For there is a tendency on the Left to indulgently chuckle about her misadventures and inappropriate behaviour. The Venom cocktails, the paddle canoe, the house flipping, the nightclubbing, the glass of rosé on Brighton beach, the chaotic personal life. Its just Ange, they say. She is a character. A card!

Yet if, for random example, Wes Streeting behaved like this in a Westminster bar, many would be tut-tutting and claiming it is yet another reason why he is unfit for higher office. If Esther McVey was crashing around the Strangers’ Bar after a few gins shouting, ‘I’m a capitalist!’ and waving her Sparks card around, more than eyebrows and concerns would be raised. Yet Angela Rayner, the most patronised politician who ever lived, is given yet another free pass. And it does us all a disservice.

Many supporters express gushing admiration for Ange because they see her as a working-class heroine, a relatable and authentic MP who they connect with on a deep psychosocial level. She is the first politician, some of them even claim, who makes us feel ‘truly represented’. They feel seen, they say. How utterly pathetic.

I am from a working-class background, too – but Angela Rayner doesn’t represent me. In fact, I look on aghast at her lack of manners, her crumpled clothes, her taste for cheap sugary cocktails and her lack of self-knowledge. I don’t sigh in veneration at all this, I quietly despair. What has she done that is so admirable?

She resigned from the Cabinet following the ‘three homes’ infamy – which still rumbles on – she was criticised for failing to properly register her use of a £2 million New York apartment belonging to Labour peer Lord Alli and also for accepting £3,550 in clothes from him. In 2021, she had to apologise for referring to senior Conservatives as ‘a bunch of scum’ during the Labour Party conference.

Angela Rayner is regarded as someone who has triumphed over the deprivations of her lowly background, but to me she is little more than a Millie Tant on the make.

Speaking of backgrounds: I grew up on a council housing estate that’s still one of the most deprived in Scotland, with persistent issues relating to housing, health, youth hooliganism and lack of opportunities.

It’s devastating to me that nothing has changed since I left 50 years ago – not to mention being a damning indictment of Labour and SNP policies and chronic disinterest in the fate of the people they claim to represent.

This sums up hard-Left politicians such as Rayner who boast about a humble back-story and promise great change, but only ever seem to better themselves, not the comrades they left behind.

‘I’m a socialist!’ cries Angela. Yet if this is how she behaves on her route to power what fresh hell can we expect if she wins?

For far too long Angela Rayner has been allowed to both weaponise her background and use it as a defence when the going gets tough. She can’t have it both ways. The tax situation she had to resign over suggests that here is a woman who rose to a position of power through militant trade unionism but who didn’t hesitate to put herself before the country when it came to what was due to the Inland Revenue.

And those who so ardently support her make a terrible mistake in assuming that the working classes support her too because they see her as one of us. We don’t. Angela Rayner, we see right through you.

Apple tops the nepo league

Nepo Babies Update. Apple Martin graduates from college and immediately signs with a top Hollywood agent.

Stella McCartney attends a ritzy reception for King Charles in New York, after he made her Ambassador of the Sustainable Markets Initiative. This, despite the fact Stella’s own luxe label doesn’t appear to be very sustainable at all, with falling sales.

Going Up: Zoe Kravitz gets engaged to pop star Harry Styles. Going down: Grace Campbell (daughter of ex-Labour spin doctor Alastair) makes headlines after she calls women’s rights campaigners ‘ugly’ and ‘freaks’.

Grace calls herself a ‘comedienne.’ When will she notice that no one is laughing?

Emily Blunt has been accused of being ‘out of touch’ after advising those who hate their jobs to simply ‘quit’.

There speaks the beautiful, privately educated barrister’s daughter who grew up in posh Roehampton, south-west London, and made her professional debut at the age of 18 playing Judi Dench’s daughter in a West End play.

Well, done, Emily. This is not to detract from your considerable achievements, but it’s just not that easy for everyone else.

King's speech is a lesson for Harry

There are those who are determined to matter, no matter that few think they matter. And then there are those who really do matter – and that matters.

Let me explain.

‘We need to feel empowered to speak truth to power,’ said the Duke of Sussex on a recent visit to Ukraine, puffed up as ever with his own self-importance. Stating the obvious, Harry went on to say that people want to see an end to conflict and endless division. You don’t say, durr.

He also seemed to claim to still be a working member of the Royal Family – which is news to everyone who toils for the Firm back home.

Meanwhile in Washington, King Charles absolutely socked it to the President of the United States.

‘You recently commented, Mr President, that if it were not for the United States, European countries would be speaking German. Dare I say that, if it wasn’t for us, you’d be speaking French,’ said Charles.

Delivered with the lightest of touches as part of a dinner speech, it still struck a thunderous chord. The King meant it – and so do all his loyal subjects.

That is what speaking truth to power is all about, Harry. For your words to have impact, you have to matter in the first place.

What's with this Wales family snap?

What is going on with the Wales family? There was a lot of praise for the new family photo released to celebrate William and Kate’s 15th wedding anniversary – but wasn’t it just a bit… WEIRD?

It shows the family lying prone in the grass at an unknown location, complete with dogs, matching faux-vintage leisure wear and vacant expressions. ‘And this is us after the nuclear holocaust,’ the caption could have read. If Harry and Meghan had posed in such a way, everyone would be scornful. And rightly so.

My advice to the Epstein survivors

Yes, I have sympathy with the victims of Jeffrey Epstein’s sordid world; the majority of whom were only teenagers when they were trafficked by him and his grisly accomplice, Ghislaine Maxwell. Many of you have sympathised with these misbegotten girls, too.

But this week they were complaining that the King didn’t meet them during the state visit to America.

‘I am disappointed in the fact that it’s a good opportunity for him to care about humanity,’ survivor Sharlene Rochard meeped. ‘We are people, and there are survivors in the UK and the country.’

As time goes by, it is becoming increasingly clear that this is all about the money now. And instead of indulging in this industrial grievance complex, perhaps these women should use their energy in trying to help others who have been similarly used and abused by powerful men. They might feel better about themselves if they did.