It is becoming increasingly difficult to do the job of a GP when patients arrive not just with symptoms, but with scripts. 

Carefully prepared phrases, polished descriptions and diagnostic language lifted straight from specialist websites and, increasingly, AI-powered chatbots.

Nowhere is this more apparent than in the surge of people seeking diagnoses for anxiety, ADHD and autism.

Day after day, I hear the same lines: 'I'm masking,' 'I have sensory overload affecting my daily living.' 

These are not natural expressions for most people. They are learned soundbites.

Patients I have known for years, people who once spoke plainly about their health, are now presenting textbook descriptions that feel rehearsed rather than real.

When I ask them to describe their experiences in their own words, many struggle.

Just how pervasive and ruinous this 'coaching' of patients is to the taxpayer is laid bare by this paper's investigation. 

That £800 a minute could be spent on handouts for those claiming even mild mental health conditions is astonishing. 

Of course, this money is draining from the coffers of the Department for Work and Pensions, but imagine the specialist staff, support facilities and medication that the NHS could invest in with this money – to treat people who have a genuine need.

But when it comes to mental health, this rapacious, in-it-for-yourself culture in which people rinse the state for all it is worth and to hell with everyone else, has been long in the making.

Over the past three to five years patients have discovered they can bypass NHS waiting lists, often stretching from two to five years, by exercising their 'Right to Choose.'

In theory, this is about empowering patients. In practice, it has opened the floodgates to a fast-growing parasitic industry. 

Dozens of private companies now offer ADHD and autism assessments under NHS contracts, much as the no-win-no-fee firms featured in this investigation do for claimants of Personal Independence Payments (PIP).

The model is simple: patients shop around for the shortest wait, fill out a form, get a GP referral, and secure a diagnosis. 

They return to the NHS for prescriptions, monitoring, and ongoing care, effectively re-entering the public system having skipped the queue.

Meanwhile, those with severe, life-limiting conditions, people in genuine distress, often less informed or less able to advocate for themselves, remain stuck on years-long waiting lists.

All the while a more informed, digitally savvy group navigates, and exploits, the system.

And the incentives do not stop at diagnosis. 

These labels can unlock a cascade of benefits – be they financial support through PIP, extra time in exams, special educational support or workplace help such as flexible hours.

All of this comes at a cost. GPs are overwhelmed with referrals. The NHS absorbs the burden of follow-up care, prescriptions and testing.

What we are witnessing is the rapid expansion of a diagnosis industry that increasingly rewards the sharp-elbowed chancers who know how to work it.

Until Labour finds the mettle to tighten the rules and clip the wings of these money-leeching firms, then the balance will remain dangerously skewed, while the genuinely needy are left behind.