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'I'm sorry. What happened to my brain?' Father publicly apologises to his wife for forgetting son, 3, in a hot car to die - and even the judge got teary
Candace Sutton · 2026-04-21 · via News | Mail Online

The father of a three-year-old boy, who died after being left for hours in his parents' car on a 34-degree day, has broken down in court and delivered a gut-wrenching apology to his wife for the boy's death.

The deaths of two NSW children - a 14-month-old girl known as 'O' and three-year-old boy 'A' - are being investigated by a coronial inquest, after they were both accidentally left behind by their fathers on their daycare runs. 

On Monday, A's father wept as he said he wished he could see his son 'one more time'. He spoke movingly about how their lives had been shattered since the hot February day in 2023 in southwestern Sydney when A died. 

The dad, known as 'N' under court suppression orders, thanked his son's 'amazing mum, my amazing wife. 

'I'm sorry I couldn't keep our family together,' he said. 

'My guilt haunts me. 

'It doesn't make sense. What happened to my brain?'

N said the family's most precious moments were when they visited their son's headstone and 'look up to try and see him jumping from one cloud to another and waving his hands.

'He was the heart of our home and the light of our family, he wasn't just a child, he was cute, smart and adventurous,' N said.

Three-year-old A's father N (above) is seen after making the horrific realisation that he had left his son in the car for hours 

Little A and his older brother were 'partners in crime ... absolutely glued together in brotherhood, friendship and love,' his dad told the inquest

'He used to pull our chins and say 'mummy's happy, daddy's happy'.

'He had this smile that touched everyone's heart even if you only met him once. He was truly unique, so full of love.'

The tragedy happened on the second day of 2023's warmer-than-average February when 'sweltering conditions' were noted in Glenfield where A lived with his family of four.

The high temperature on that day preceded a sharp cold snap that would bring unseasonably cool weather the day after.

N had gone to bed at 12.45 am after seeing off a visitor who had stayed playing with the boys until late. 

In the morning after coming downstairs, A had fallen asleep and was carried to the car and strapped into a child seat in the back.

After dropping off his older son, then aged seven, at primary school, N became distracted by the petrol light coming on in his car and drove to a petrol station.

Instead of driving on to drop A at his day care centre, which A attended five days a week from 9am to 5.30pm, N became distracted from what cognitive neuro-scientist Professor Muireann Irish told the inquest was 'context dependent memory' and habitual behaviour.

Professor Irish said a person can have their routines disrupted 'and not think anything out of the ordinary has happened' because 'brains ... constantly want to turn things into routine'.

This was especially so when someone was tired, overworked and bombarded by modern media and technology. 

N went home to work in his job as a finance officer, and returned to pick up his older son from school at 2.38pm. 

When the pair went to the nearby shop to buy dinner ingredients, N made 'the terrible observation' that A was in the back of the car. 

He tried CPR, the police and paramedics arrived but A could not be revived. N said that since that disastrous day, he and his wife had lived in 'a parallel universe'.

'We live that day a thousand times a day and it never gets lighter,' he said. 'There is no moment when he is not with us, it is an absolute numbness. 

'If Forgotten Baby Syndrome could capture me, it can capture anyone. It can turn your life upside down'.

N remembered that 'when I used to go to pick him up from day care I could hear him screaming to his friends 'my daddy, my daddy' and he would give me a big smile and a hug'.

In a gutwrenching tribute to his son A (right, on his dad's knee) N apologised to the boy's 'amazing mum, my amazing wife. I'm sorry to you I couldn't keep our family together'

A tribute to A, 3, who died on a sweltering hot day in far southwestern Sydney after his dad N suffered what a cognitive neuro-scientist told the inquest was a memory failure that could happen to anyone

'In the morning I used to prepare both of them,' he said.

'Now it's one. I go to sleep hoping he will come to me in my dreams so I can see him one more time, touch him one more time.'

Breaking down in tears, N said that A's 'big brother was his superhero'.

'They were partners in crime,' N said. 'They were absolutely glued together in brotherhood, friendship, love.'

N's video showed his son just over five years ago when he was 18 months old, laughing as he ascended a climbing wall and then sliding down through a chute at Blaxland Riverside Park on the Parramatta River.

He also played a photo sequence of the boy at the beach, on a boat, in a playground.

'He was high energy,' N told the court. 'He could sleep anywhere. I remember in Covid lockdown he fell asleep standing up against my back.

'Now I miss him sleeping beside me. I go to sleep hoping he will visit me in my dreams, so I can see him one more time, touch him one more time.'

N's car at the scene where he made the horrific discovery that his precious three-year-old was still strapped into the vehicle's rear seat and had died from heat exposure

The parents of 14-month-old O, who died after spending eight hours in a car when temperatures rose to the early 30s, 'miss the smile, the one that broke across your face when something delighted you' of their 'perfect baby girl' 

The inquest into the death of A was held concurrently with that into the death of O, a girl who died aged 14 months on February 4, 2025 in Earlwood, in southwestern Sydney in similar circumstances.

O was left in the family car for around eight hours after her father failed to drop her off at an early childhood centre while distracted by heavy traffic, a huge workload and the fact the family was running late.

In a touching moment, photos of both children were placed on either side of the court during their parents' tributes.

In a statement read by William de Mars, counsel assisting the inquest, the little girl's mother said that 'we will never stop thinking of you.

'Our hearts will never be whole without you. We will keep on living, loving, crying, and sometimes laughing all for you, our perfect baby girl.'

In a letter to her daughter, the mother wrote, 'Dear (girl's name) you were our first born. Everything was fuller with you here.

'How desperately we reach back to that day... the what if, the frustration, the anger, the pain.

'We miss the spark in your eyes, the way you looked out on the world. We miss the smile, the one that broke across your face when something delighted you.

The mother of O said of her late daughter: 'We will keep on living, loving, crying, and sometimes laughing all for you, our perfect baby girl'. Family photo above

'You had so much love to give to your aunties and uncles and grandparents.

'I hope you knew just how immensely we love you. I hope it was the ground beneath everything. We carry you still. You deserved more time, you deserved everything.'

Afterwards Judge Hosking - who teared up during the dad's speech - expressed her condolences 'for the loss of your beautiful baby'.

The inquest continued on Tuesday when Her Honour was due to deliver her findings into the two deaths and recommendations to help prevent future deaths.

Expert Mark Terrell told the inquest that child presence detection systems were gradually being introduced into new cars in Australia.

Older systems operated with devices like weight sensors while the preferred systems used radar sensors which were able to detect a living person or animal via movement or, say, the breathing of an infant.

Mr Terrell, the chief technical officer of the Australasian New Car Assessment Program (ANCAP) which provides safety ratings for up to 90-per-cent of all new cars, said the radar systems used escalating warnings to alert drivers of a problem.

He said this included a beep of the horn, a flash of the lights or a text message or app alert after the car had been locked.

'It's not the complete answer. It's a back-up,' he said, adding that public awareness and education was important. He noted Professor Irish's assessment that the tragedies 'could happen to anyone'.

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