Stop Saying ‘Mistakes Were Made’—Say This Instead
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You’ve likely heard it. I know I’ve heard it. And—maybe—just maybe you’ve regrettably used this phrase from time to time when you didn’t know what to say in response to a mistake that either you or someone on your team made.
But you knew it was weak. You knew when you heard or said the words—mistakes were made—that the person saying them got smaller and smaller with every syllable. Yeah, you knew it was bad, but you didn’t quite know of a better (more effective) way to communicate with your stakeholders or your team members about the mistakes.
Below, I give you a much better option to use for when you need to approach a mistakes-were-made situation in the future.
When you are the leader—particularly a leader with formal authority—you have to own the success and failures of your team. You get some credit for lots of stuff you didn’t and wouldn’t do, and you get some blame for lots of stuff you didn’t and wouldn’t do either. While this might not necessarily be fair, it is appropriate.
In a prior article, I identify a list of nine phrases that immediately expose weak leaders for who they are. The mistakes-were-made statement comes in at the top spot on that list. No one wants to come off as a weak leader. Certainly you don’t so you’ve got to ask yourself…
Surely, when you interviewed for your job, you wanted people to think that you can take the heat of leadership. Surely, you’re glad that they believed it and put you in your role. So don’t shrink when your response calls for ownership. Don’t shrink from leading when you or someone on your team makes a mistake.
On the face of it, the statement does acknowledge that you are aware that some mistakes have indeed been made. The problem is 3-prong though because that’s all it does.
The mistakes-were-made phrase is one of two things weak leaders say when they make mistakes, and everyone who wants to exhibit strength should steer clear of such statements.
Think about it. Mistakes were made only indicates that some vague—and apparently—unknowable person somewhere in the universe made mistakes. Someone in the universe made a mistake, but we are not willing or able to identify who the person is. And subsequently, we will not actually hold anyone accountable for the mistakes.
Everyone who hears this is thinking the same thing—leadership failure; weak leadership; and you’ve got to be kidding me.
When you’re faced with communicating a message about mistakes, commit to lead, commit to accept responsibility, and commit to shine by demonstrating the strength of your leadership. Use the following approach instead (here’s a script for you).
We have reviewed the (fill in the circumstance/situation) and have determined that (use we or I) made a mistake when we did (name the mistake). As the manager or leader, I take full responsibility to resolve this matter and make amends to those who were harmed. It is important that we get this right. So we will continue to investigate and determine the appropriate consequences and remedies for a successful resolution. I want you to know that I understand the damage this has caused and that it matters to me. I own the problem or mistake and personally commit to resolve this matter and get back to you.
Leaders who communicate with authority come off as more credible. Leaders who communicate with clarity earn more respect. And leaders who communicate with ownership gain more trust.
If you want to build a reputation as a credible leader who has the respect and trust of those you lead, own the mistakes that you and your team make. Do this by first identifying the specific mistake(s) and who (person and/or entity) is responsible, take ownership, and announce what you will do to resolve it.
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