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Bettmann Archive

The phrase “bucket list” is used so often it has almost become a cliché. How many times do you say it or hear someone say it? We think of a bucket list as a personal compilation of goals, dreams, and experiences a person hopes to accomplish or experience in his or her lifetime before they die.

You might remember the movie 2007 “Bucket List” with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Nicholson plays Edward Cole, a billionaire with only six months left to live. Carter Chambers, played by Freeman, is a family-oriented car mechanic also with only six months left to live. Carter has written a "bucket list" of things to do before he dies, and Edward is able to fund the activities from his own pocket. The pair set off on an adventure that includes skydiving, driving race cars, riding motorcycles, and visiting Pyramids.

Ultimately, the film reminds us that the adventures were about finding joy, peace, and love, rather than just checking places off a list. While the premise of these two patients connecting in the hospital does not seem plausible, we get the message. Don’t wait until it is too late to have the experiences you desire.

Seasons Of Life—Time Buckets

Life is full of seasons. Learn (education), earn (work), and return (retirement) is one way the stages of life is often described. The "seasons of life" —Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter—is another metaphor that represents the natural stages of human development of personal growth, hard work, receiving rewards and recognition, and harvesting wisdom. These phases help frame life transitions, understand the need to change, and help to manage challenges. These seasons, from youth to retirement, serve a purpose.

Bill Perkins, author of the book “Die with Zero: Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life,” strongly advocates investing in experiences and the earlier the better. “I realized that you retire on your memories,” said Perkins. He reminds readers that the “whole point in earning money is to be able to spend it on the experiences that make your life what it is.”

Perkins agrees that we should think of our life as distinct seasons and develop time buckets. Rather than a list of experiences at the end of our life, we make a list and decide at what point in our life we want to have these experiences. I wish I had known about time buckets when I was younger.

In his book, there is a diagram of a timeline from age 25 to 80. He defines the stages as early adulthood (25-30, 40-45), adulthood (46-50, 51-55), and old age (75+). Within each “bucket,” list the experiences you want to have at each age with the idea of thinking ahead. According to Perkins, “Time buckets are proactive and let you plan your life; a bucket list, on the other hand, is a much more reactive effort in a sudden race against time.” Time is all we have and we never know when our time will end. Time buckets remind us all along our life of what we hope to accomplish and experience.

Less Can Be More—Reverse Bucket List

Another way to view a bucket list is by Harvard Professor and author, Arthur Brooks, who specializes in the science of happiness. He says we often think the way to improve our lives is to add things: A trip to Europe would make me happier. If only my relationship were better or if I made more money, I would be happy. This is an example of what psychologists call the “hedonic treadmill.” We may fantasize about a big promotion, or glamorous vacation, but as soon as we get it, we start desiring the next big thing on our list.

Brooks describes a reverse bucket list which involves subtracting things from our life rather than adding to it. Brooks suggests, may be true of our lives. When we have feelings of dissatisfaction or get scared with the shortness of time, “we automatically grasp for more: more money, more power, more accolades. But our twinges rarely, if ever, disappear. So instead of grasping for more, maybe take a few minutes and force yourself to consider if the solution is less. Crafting a reverse bucket list just might bring you closer to happiness than ticking off even your most impressive bucket list item.”

While I don’t have many regrets and we had plenty of family experiences, I wish I had been more intentional about the timing of some of the experiences when we were all younger. For example, it is easy to get caught up in team athletic activities by default. After reading Sahil Bloom’s book “The Five Types of Wealth,” I kept thinking about how we allocated our time with our sons. While it was quality time and we enjoyed ourselves, if I could do it over, I would have developed some more intentional time buckets of places and experiences. I would subtract some activities that took time away from family time.

Invest In Memory Dividends

Bloom points out that time with family and friends follows predictable decline curves—childhood is dominated with family hours and social time with friends peaks in late teens and decreases after.

Bloom also reminds us that many ordinary moments have a “last time,” so we should treat time with loved ones by being present, disconnecting from devices, creating small recurring rituals (calls, visits, annual trips), prioritizing time with true friends who’d show up in a crisis, and intentionally schedule meaningful moments before they quietly disappear.

But the good news is that it is never too late. When will we have more time than we have right now? As Perkins reminds us, “When you spend time or money on experiences, they are not only enjoyable in the moment—they pay an on-going dividend, the memory dividend.”