What separates a thriving couple from a disconnected one often comes down to weekends. Here’s how to start using yours to strengthen your love, according to research.

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Balancing a full-time job with a personal life is already a demanding, precarious juggling act. Choose to add a romantic relationship into that mix, and it only becomes more difficult to manage. Yet simultaneously, the stakes get higher, too: the more a couple has to juggle, the more important getting the balance right becomes.

Speaking both as someone who researches relationships and someone living in one, I’ve seen how easily weekends can slip by without finding the time or the means to meaningfully connect with your partner. But I’ve also learned that it doesn’t take much to turn that time into something genuinely restorative for both people involved.

Here are five things that the happiest couples do together every weekend to keep their partnership strong, according to psychological research.

1. Carve Out Quality Couple Time (With No Tech Allowed)

According to a 2022 study from the European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology, partnered individuals experience lower work-life balance in comparison to singles, given the maintenance that a partnership demands.

At face value, this probably seems like a damning statistic. But in context, this dissatisfaction typically arises from the perception that a relationship is the distracting factor in relation to work-life balance. In reality, for the majority of couples, it’s far more probable that work stress spillover is really the culprit to blame — aided and abetted by technology, which makes it nearly impossible to avoid work distractions from home altogether.

In this sense, it’s paramount that couples carve out one-on-one time for each other, without any interference from technology. How you and your partner choose to spend that time is irrelevant; it doesn’t need to be extravagant, nor do you have to have it planned down to the minute. What matters is presence, in the most profound sense of the word.

For some, this might look like chatting together over coffee with no agenda, letting the conversation wander wherever it wants. For others, it’s heading out for a walk where silence feels comfortable rather than something to fix. Even a simple dinner out can do the trick, provided that your attention stays on each other. These small, undistracted moments are often exactly what couples need to decompress and feel close again.

2. Put Sex On Your Couple’s Schedule

It’s not salacious to say that sex is a vital aspect of a healthy partnership. As a renowned 2016 study from the Archives of Sexual Behaviors found, the more frequent and satisfying sex that couples have, the more satisfied they feel in life. In other words, your sex life could be one of the make-or-break factors in how content you and your partner feel overall.

However, for most couples, days off are stacked with errands, admin and general catching up on life; weeknights, too, are often just as busy. In turn, with the weekend reserved for logistics, intimacy usually falls a few places down on the priority list. Over time, stress and routine can crowd it out even further; R&R starts to out-prioritize sex.

For this reason, the unsexy truth is that couples who prioritize sex (even if it means literally putting it on the calendar) will be happier than those who don’t.

Don’t let this trick you into thinking structured intimacy will diminish spontaneity. If anything, it actually takes away some of the mental fatigue of trying to make it happen. On top of this, it’s also another great way for couples to truly engage with one another without distraction, all while combating the emotional strain of work.

So, make it intentional. Set the time. Treat it as non-negotiable as you would a deadline at work. The health of your relationship, and your own well-being, could depend on it.

3. Engage In Parallel Play As A Couple

After a draining week of work, it’s completely natural to crave solitude; if anything, it’s recommended. But, for couples, it can be decidedly hard to choose between “me-time” and “we-time.” And with so little time available, one usually replaces the other once the choice has been made.

Thankfully, there’s a way for partners to satiate the need for both alone time and bonding at once: “parallel play.” It’s a concept derived from child psychology, and it’s as self-explanatory as its name suggests: two people engage in their preferred activity separately, but alongside each other.

In real life, this could mean one person curls up with a novel or a puzzle while the other unwinds with a video game or craft project nearby; you could even be doing the same thing, only separately. Although there’s little to no direct interaction, the fact that the environment is shared still creates a sense of closeness. Each person recharges in their own personal way, without disconnecting from the relationship.

To the untrained eye, it might look like two people just coexisting. But, in reality, it’s an essential non-verbal agreement that every couple has to make sometimes: “I love you, but I also need to love me for, like, an hour. Let’s do it together.”

It’s self-care and companionship in tandem, which makes it one of the most excellent ways to recharge without stepping away from the relationship. There’s no pressure and no forced interaction; just togetherness in its most effortless form.

4. Create A Couple’s Ritual

It probably doesn’t sound very exciting, but familiarity can be deeply reassuring in a relationship. When you and your partner know that there’s a certain moment or tradition waiting for you each weekend, you’re offered a sense of steadiness that life rarely gives up easily.

Of course, “predictability” and “stability” may not be the most tantalizing words in a relationship, but they’re still undeniably important. If anything, studies — including seminal research from the journal Communication Studies — tell us that rituals help couples organize their shared lives in a way that simultaneously allows both change and stability to coexist.

That is, rituals give partners a way to merge into a shared identity that feels distinct from either person alone. They allow you to find grounding together, no matter what chaos might surround you.

What, exactly, those rituals look like is completely up to you and your partner. My only recommendation: don’t shy away from cheesy. It could be Saturday morning pancakes; breakfast for dinner on Sunday; board game night; Friday night dancing.

If you’re more practical, then maybe you’ll opt instead for weekly sit-down over a glass of wine to plan the week ahead. Or, if you’re really practical, you could tackle your least favourite chore together with a good podcast or playlist on in the background.

Again, the ritual itself doesn’t matter; the only important thing is that you do it every weekend, without fail. Even if it’s uneventful, a repeatable ritual will reinforce your joint strength and identity. It instills the belief that, no matter what the week throws at you, you still have each other and your silly little plans to look forward to on the weekend.

5. Laugh On Purpose As A Couple

Just like sex, laughter is one of those things that we assume should happen naturally. But, in long-term relationships, it’s something that deserves a spot on the calendar, too. It might feel odd to “plan” something as spontaneous as laughter, but, regardless, it works.

Playfulness and humor, according to 2021 research from Social and Personality Psychology Compass, plays an underrated role in relationship health. This often means that the couples who make space for fun are the ones who feel more connected, handle disagreements more smoothly and avoid falling into repetitive, draining patterns.

During the workweek, it’s only natural for our attention to gravitate toward pressure, deadlines and problems. Weekends offer us a much-needed chance to shift that focus, and it’s paramount that you seize it every chance you get.

Actively choosing to be playful — especially if you have a partner that can match your energy — will revive a sense of curiosity and joy that often gets sidelined by adult responsibilities. So, look for joy on purpose. Laugh out loud, even if you have to force it at first. Be ridiculous. It’s okay (encouraged, even) to be a little weird with the person you love.

Try to invent a ridiculous game with ever-changing rules. Start doing impressions until one of you inevitably cracks. Turn the living room into a makeshift dance floor. There’s no formula here. Just lean into whatever reliably makes your partner laugh, which you probably already know offhand, and actually follow through on it.

Want to know how satisfied you and your partner are as a couple? Take my science-backed Relationship Satisfaction Scale to see how you compare to others.